It’s been eighteen (18) months since I lost my career and a way to earn a living. Yes it was of my own doing, a breach of the public trust which at the time was not in my radar as leading to where I am now.

Divorce and a business that brought little more than grinding away on a daily basis to barely squeak by in meeting financial obligations quickly led to depression. The cycle started so to speak so that the work barely got done, the stress of the financial obligations mounted and the clients suffered. The ease to “fix” the financial obligations was a split second decision but added to some past poor decision making in attempting to stay above water has caused my current situation to only be harder.

In very few professions does the loss of one’s license have such a ripple effect in trying to find new employment. As a newbie I often would see others who have lost their license and continue in essentially the same position even after their professional status was terminated.

I could not go down a similar path, my practice was my own, I did not have partners who could continue running the business and employ me as nothing more than an employee with a great bonus incentive. Instead at 60 years old and after practicing for over 20 plus years, I was faced with trying to find any kind of employment in which my experience would transfer or not transfer at all – after all the obligations of my own life & the life I brought into this world continues.

We all read and hear feel good stories daily on social media and on television in which a person who needs help and a second chance in life serendipitously meets that golden savior that provides a second chance in life. While we all should applaud all of these people it just does not work like that in day to day life. It is quite simple as I look at it but coming to terms with the inability to find even the most basic and menial employment only adds to my current state of being.

It’s far easier to sleep the days away then face the prospect of being told, and in most cases silently, “you are over qualified” or “we cannot invest training you so you can leave when a better offer comes along”.

It all happens very impersonally since so much of hiring is done at least initially online. Upon hitting the submit button which uploads a resume which reflects a post graduate degree for a position which pays slightly more than minimum wage, the writing is pretty much on the wall. It’s not the screeners fault, they have their own marching orders and often get paid based on placing someone.

It all becomes the perfect storm to not being able to get a second chance. If I was 20 years younger and in a different position in my life I would have a better chance in gaining employment than I do right now.

My family has supported me at every turn, friends are a different story and suddenly you come to grips with how many really were and the ones that stay around seem to slowly move farther and farther away. Neither family or friends can completely understand how employment can be so unattainable. Jobs that I am clearly qualified for pass by without even a courtesy reply. And then comes the questions – if someone that has a criminal history and has served their time can find a minimum wage job, it should be no problem for you to do so too. This all presupposes all of the above and the person coming out of incarceration may be looked at better than someone who is held to a very high standard which for whatever reason they have broken.

As the days, weeks and months go by I wonder just how many others are in similar situations. It would be easy to give up and disappear, run away from it all but that would penalize those that still need me. Those who face the same issues need to know that just because they screwed up and caused everything they are facing, we are good people, caring husbands & wives, giving children and wonderful fathers & mothers. Being motivated with such huge pressures is not easy, it’s a one day at a time routine – fully knowing that having some good news may suddenly turn into despair.

From it all I only can say one thing for certain – you may not get a second chance, unless you make the chance for yourself.

1. What are your natural talents (list 3+)?

Your life purpose is something that comes natural to you — it’s easy. You don’t have to make yourself love it, you just simply do. Picasso was a natural artist, Beyonce is a natural performer, Steve Jobs was a natural innovator, and Janis Joplin was a natural musician. Your career path and life purpose should be something that you naturally enjoy doing every single day. It should be something that will not only provide a service to the world, but will also bring meaning to the people who come across your work.

2. Which of those talents can you see yourself doing full-time?

Let’s face it: living in America isn’t cheap. Living anywhere for that matter isn’t cheap. You’ve gotta work, and work, and work until you can stabilize your life in a way that makes you feel abundant. What do you want to work for? More money, your family, a house, car, or for your future? Figure out why you want to work and which one of your talents can provide for you during the duration of your working life. Although your life path can and will likely change, starting somewhere that makes you feel amazing often leads to even more amazing ventures.

3. List how you want to feel in life (for instance: happy, peaceful, excited, energized).

Now: which one of the talents you listed makes you feel this way? Do you just want to be happy? Are you striving to be this super-awesome businesswoman/man who feels productive? Or do you just want to live the hippy lifestyle and be “of the world” — not making a living through society? Whichever route, each of these feelings are accessible through any life path, you just have to choose one. Even living the hippie, non-conformist lifestyle can coincide with entrepreneurship. You can sell crystals, jewelry, or host goddess workshops. My point is: however you want to feel in life — and whatever you want to accomplish — can be done through any venture. Which of your talents can take you where you want to go?

4. Which one of those talents not only brings meaning to your life, but has the ability to bring meaning to the world in some way?

It’s not just about the final destination of working to save money for retirement. In fact, none of that really matters anymore. In this day and age working is about finding purpose in providing for humanity. Restructuring society. Creating a meaningful existence. When choosing your life purpose, you should feel so comfortable in your shoes that you just want to scream at the top your lungs with joy. You should feel like you’ve left your mark in this world in a positive way.

5. Now that you’ve narrowed it down. How can you bring your dream into reality?

Do you want to work for someone else doing what you love or would you prefer to be an entrepreneur? Both routes are beneficial. Working for someone else allows freedom from all of the legal mumbo jumbo of starting a business, but doesn’t allow much input into the creative process unless you have a high ranking. Whereas owning your own business gives you the total say of your final product, but you’ll have your plate full with promoting, marketing, and setting up shop. Either way, bringing your dream into reality is the final goal. Whichever method you choose to lead the way is ultimately up to you.

Making a career change is hard in any field, but lawyers in particular have a tough time pursuing a new line of work. And rightfully so – after many grueling years of law school and countless hours spent preparing to take the bar exam, it can be hard to walk away from a title that you’ve worked so hard to achieve.

There is a status and prestige associated with the practice of law, because the background and education of lawyers gives them a very unique and valuable skill set. But lawyers themselves tend to undervalue their skills outside the context of law.

Often, lawyers are beautiful writers and thorough researchers; eloquent, confident and articulate speakers, problem solvers, analysts and counselors. All of these skills can be translated into other careers.

If you’re a lawyer considering a different career path, here are three steps you can take to get started.

1. Identify which lawyering skills you enjoy and excel at.

It’s important to note that the skills you enjoy and the skills you are good at might not be the same. As a lawyer, it’s likely that you already make use of the abilities you excel at — but they might not be the tasks that you actually enjoy doing.

If you’re going to make a career change, you’ll want to be clear about what kind of work you really like to do, so take the time to really think about what you enjoy doing. One of the easiest ways to identify this is to think about what you’re working on during the times that your day seems to fly by. Keep in mind what other abilities are involved during these times as well. For example, you may love client counseling because you enjoy helping clients make a decision about how to proceed with a case, and explaining what potential outcomes you see panning out. Counseling is the most obvious skill here, but some of the other qualities that are coming out of this process are wisdom and knowledge, as well as speaking, teaching, advising and analysis. All of these skills have the potential to be translated into other careers.

2. Research other career paths that would encompass these skills.

Luckily, most lawyers and law students are very good researchers, which can be put to use while looking for career paths that align with the skills in which they excel and enjoy. A good place to start would be to have conversations with people who work in the fields you are considering. Ask about the work they do, and what their day-to-day looks like. There are also many online tools for doing more targeted research, such as LinkedIn. While you’re researching, pay attention to how people in the roles you’re exploring describe their jobs. Is there an overlap with the skills that you already have? With the ones that you like doing? If there’s someone in your network that can make an introduction, take it a step further and reach out to these people. Ask for an informational interview, or if they’re in your area, offer to buy them a cup of coffee in exchange for information about their line of work. Be sure to ask what skills and experiences are needed in order to be successful in their field.

3. Brand yourself through your skills, not your roles.

Here’s an opportunity to be a creative, persuasive problem solver. Position yourself as someone who can fit into a role based on the skills that you’ve already gained – even though your role was different. There is so much value in having a legal education and experience; it’s just a matter of leveraging it properly.

Life’s too short to continue to work at a job that is no longer fulfilling you. There’s no need to feel bad about walking away from a career in law to pursue a different path. In fact, so many of the skills you’ve honed during your time working in law can be easily leveraged into a new role for a different industry.

Get over the fact that sometimes you suck. That’s how life works. You’re a person and you’re not perfect and you’re a work in progress. So, sometimes you will suck.

Be okay with the fact that you suck at stuff, because it means you’re trying. It means you’re not allowing yourself to settle for mediocrity and instead you’re forcing yourself to do stuff that is outside of your expertise or your comfort zone. Sucking at stuff means you’re doing stuff that scares you.

Don’t stop. Never stop. Don’t overthink. Just keep going. Keep going when you’re tired and insecure and most of all, keep going when you’re afraid. If you let yourself stop, all you’re going to do is question yourself, or make a list of all the reasons why you’re inadequate or why you can’t do this. You’ll stop being surrounded by the people who are running with you and instead will be standing next to the ones who want you to give up on your dreams because they gave up on theirs. You will feel the pressure to belittle yourself, to over-criticize yourself, just to make the people around you feel more comfortable with the decisions (or lack of decisions) that they’ve made.

Be tough on yourself when you’ve made a mistake. Figure out what you did wrong, why you didn’t listen to your gut, what you could have done differently. Acknowledge it and promise yourself that you’ll do better next time. Then be kind to yourself by getting over it, by letting it go – because you’re not making yourself or anyone else feel better by wallowing around and obsessing over your error.

Strong and successful people make a lot of mistakes. But then they learn from the mistake and forgive themselves and then they move on – better and stronger and with a thicker skin and an even more intense desire to do better next time.

Be okay with the fact that you’re afraid to fail and then try anyway. Being afraid to fail just means you’re human and you want to do well for yourself, and that’s a good thing. Fear in and of itself is not wrong, or something to be ashamed about. It is normal and sometimes even helpful and it is what makes you a person. Fear is only a problem if you let it stop you from doing something, just because you’d rather sit safely on the sidelines not failing but also not knowing what could have happened, instead of jumping into the race and seeing if, hey, maybe you do have a talent for that thing you care about so much.

So go do stuff – go try and go jump and go be afraid. Be okay with being bad at stuff and be okay with sucking at stuff. Learn to find comfort in it, even if you hate it, because it means you’re doing so much more and growing so much more than the version of yourself that is sitting safely to the side – the one who is never failing but also never moving from that one spot. That’s not you. You’re meant to be afraid.